A few years back Swedish youth magazine “Kamratposten”asked 6000 boys and girls between 8–14 years old who they rather talk to when they are sad. (Source – in Swedish.)

The result was quite sad – especially if you are a man.

40,9% of the children answered “My mother”.

25% answered “A friend”.

About 10% answered “Someone else”.

About 10% answered “No-one”.

Then – finally – came:

“My father” … (at 5,4%)


When a kid is sad she doesn’t want to talk to dad? That is sad. In so many ways.

It is especially sad when it comes to the boys.

If a son doesn’t feel that he can talk to his father when he is sad, angry or frustrated, then is he not missing out on the opportunity to learn from his closest male role model?

And, to be honest, what kind of male role model are fathers if our sons do not feel like that can come to us for advice when they need it the most?

The good news is, of course, that this could rather easily be fixed.

If fathers decided to spend a little bit more time with their kids, then they would create a tighter connection to the child.

And with a tighter connection there is a higher possibility that our kids will show their vulnerability and open up instead of closing down.

God knows that what the world needs is not more closed up males who want to keep their problems inside until they explode…


— This blog is founded on the belief that our children would benefit if  fathers took a bigger responsibility in raising their kids. If you agree, then please spread the word. —

(Picture: Luis Miguel Bugallo Sánchez, Creative Commons.)

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Fredrik Haren

A blog about the magic of fatherhood and paternity leave. Written by Fredrik Haren, professional speaker and author who is now on semi-paternity leave with his three children.

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